JULY 31, 2017
Photo: Wall Street Journal
UPDATE: MONDAY P.M. The Mooch is gone! As one of his first acts since replacing Reince Priebus, newly sworn-in Presidential Chief of Staff John Kelly has fired newly-hired Director of Communications Anthony Scaramucci after only 6 actual workdays on the job. Scaramucci was reportedly escorted from the White House on Monday afternoon by security guards. What a loss! His hilarious macho posturing could have provided endless possibilities for mockery and his “colorful language” could have made Trump’s religious-right supporters squirm even more uncomfortably in their pews. Sad!
MONDAY A.M. There’s only two places where sticking your thumbs in your beltloops is acceptable behavior — you’re either a punk gunfighter in some B-western or you’re cruising for guys just before closing time at a leather bar. Otherwise, no,no,no,no,no. And especially not in the Oval Office.
And that unforgettable image of new Director of Communications Anthony Scaramucci staring down Donald Trump’s Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, captured above, didn’t even picture Trump, although he was responsible for all of it, as part of what was unquestionably the worst week (so far) of the Trump Presidency.
Though it may feel like a millennium ago, let’s travel back to the remarkable one week-plus that just happened in the ever-crumbling Trump Administration.
FRIDAY, JULY 21 — After Trump appoints Wall Street thug Anthony (“The Mooch”) Scaramucci as the Administration’s new director of communications, press secretary Sean Spicer reportedly asks Trump to reconsider the appointment, and when Trump refuses, Spicer quits. Supposedly Trump was taken aback by this, since when someone leaves the Trump Administration, it’s by Trump’s firing. So the press podium has now been officially taken over by the effervescent Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Special condolences go out to Melissa McCarthy. Spicey, we hardly knew ye.
SATURDAY, JULY 22 — Trump National Golf Club, Potomac Falls, VA. Zero calls from him to senators to push for the Trumpcare bill about to be voted on.
SUNDAY, JULY 23 — Trump National Golf Club, Potomac Falls, VA. Zero calls from him to senators to push for the Trumpcare bill about to be voted on.
MONDAY, JULY 24 — The lovely Jared Kushner, Trump’s jack-of-all-trades and seemingly master of none, testifies before the Senate Intelligence Committee about his non-ties to Russia. Lots of gobbledygook not under oath. Oh, and we can’t forget Trump’s poorly received address to the Boy Scout Jamboree where he encourages the children in attendance to boo both Hillary Clinton and President Barack Obama, a Boy Scout himself as a child. (Trump of course was not.) For the first time in history, the Boy Scouts of America organization is forced to apologize to Scout parents (many of whom threatened to pull their boys out of the program) for the content of a President’s speech.
TUESDAY, JULY 25 — In a press conference with Lebanese Prime Minister Saad Hariri, Trump asserted that Lebanon is on the front lines fighting the radical organization Hezbollah — Lebanon is actually an ally of Hezbollah — in a word salad that would make Sarah Palin wince.
WEDNESDAY, JULY 26 — In what was largely seen as an attempt to change the subject amid all the current bad news facing him, one of his 6am tweets announces that transgender Americans will no longer be allowed to serve in the armed forces. The reaction from the military’s Joint Chiefs of Staff is basically “WTF?,” and the military pushed back hard, saying that policy directives that affect thousands of troops will not be implemented because of one tweet.
THURSDAY, JULY 27 — Trumpcare vote day! So far, no other GOP senators have joined Sens. Susan Collins (R-ME) and Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) as “no” votes until Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) strides to the well of the Senate after 1am, gets the attention of the chair during the roll call, raises his hand and turns his thumb down. (Very Joaquin Phoenix in “Gladiator.”) Gasps in the Senate, and GOP Majority Leader Mitch McConnell lowers his head and crosses his arms, as if he knows that Obamacare repeal is dead. It is. Maybe.
FRIDAY, JULY 28 — After not lifting a finger to lobby senators so that the Trumpcare bill would pass, Trump tweets about how Collins, Murkowski and McCain let the country down. OK, whatever. He then speaks before a group of Long Island police suggesting that police “not be too nice” when transporting prisoners to justice, a directive that was cheered by the officers in attendance but roundly condemned by law enforcement authorities from coast to coast. Yet another attempt to pander by Trump goes south.
The Mooch gives a profanity-laced interview with the New Yorker‘s Ryan Lizza, claiming that he had no interest in media attention (ha!), unlike other Trump intimates: “I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock.” (I was about to say that this was a jaw-dropping moment, but I felt that wouldn’t be appropriate in this context.) The bulk of the interview, however, was basically devoted to pushing Priebus out the door, calling him (among other things) “a [effing] schizophrenic.”
Whatever grief it might later to bring to Scarmucci, the interview worked, because by Friday, Priebus was fired and out the door. To replace him, Trump brought in General John Kelly (well-respected, but geez, enough with the generals in the cabinet already). Interestingly, Priebus is one of the few close to Trump that never signed a non-disclosure agreement before joining the team, so look for some dish in the months ahead.
SUNDAY, JUNE 30 – Trump National Golf Club, Potomac Falls, VA. Again? Why bother?
Is it Monday yet? I’m exhausted already.
